Today is the birthday of both Bilbo and Frodo Baggins, without whom we would all be speaking Mordor-ese. And, of course, it’s the anniversary of Bilbo’s famous “eleventy-first” birthday party, in which he spoke the immortal words, “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” By which he meant, “I’m drunk.”

Let’s use this occasion to dwell on everything that J.R.R. Tolkien’s works have meant to us. That character and heart are stronger than the beefiest hatemonger. That destiny can’t be ignored. That playing god is the worst of sins. That you can actually tell a fantasy story that doesn’t involve vampires.

And yes, dear readers, I am married. To a real girl. Who actually got me to read Tolkien in the first place many moons ago. So let’s also spend today dwelling on how I hit the nerd jackpot.